Critical thought is also too brief and shallow to receive a passing grade.

general article writing

Description

Please read attached file and FEEDBACKS first in order to see all requirements before accepting the QUESTION if you can't see the feedback just let me know!

After this draft I will get additional feedbacks pls

let me know when you did with reading and what do you think about what we can do? I need to send draft no later than tomorrow to get feedback again!

Did you able to read ALL feedbacks and suggestions that below!? After the 2nd draft, I will open up direct question same value to get this job done! How did this sound to you?

Thanks...
Feedback from Inst:
While you write very well and have done some good work so far, I hope that this is just a preliminary rough draft and that you plan to add a lot more to the final report. As it is, this paper is too brief and rudimentary to be accepted. 
There is nothing about lifelong personal growth. Nor is there anything about aviation management 
Your aviation legislation and law and cultural literacy are way too short (almost non-existent).
Your critical thought is also too brief and shallow to receive a passing grade.
This is a good start, but now go back and read your proposal again and make sure you have done what you said you were going to do. I propose that you have not.
Usually, “Method” or methodology refers to the method you will use to complete THIS research. That was where I thought you were going with the first sentence. But then you began to discuss NDI methods used on older aircraft. Your level 1 heading is too short and is misleading. In reality, it should be “Methods of Conducting Nondestructive Inspections on Older Aircraft”
This is all good information but how does it relate to your study?
Are these methods used on older 737’s (source?)
Are 737’s showing any trends in these inspections?
How often are they required? By what regs or rule?
And MOST important:
What is your analysis of the impact of this information on your research question
Again, not specific enough – Background to What? The 737? Flying Older airplanes? Your research paper? 
In reality, it is a discussion of the Aloha airlines and far Eastern Air Transport accidents. So, call it what it is
Two points to make here:
1. Long quotes are formatted differently than short quotes <40 words. Refer to the APA manual for how to format long quotes.
2. This long quote in unnecessary. There is nothing in this quote that justifies using the quote except it was easy to copy and paste it into your paper. Paraphrase this info into your words and keep the citation.
All of this information is great, but what does it mean and how does it answer your research question. There is NO critical thought where you analyze this data and tell your reader how it relates to the research question. Do not assume the reader will logically conclude how this information ties in. You must complete the analysis.
Add another paragraph telling me what all of the data means according to your analysis.
If this is all you plan to provide as far as aviation legislation and law, it is totally inadequate. It needs to be greatly expanded.
If this is all you plan to give me in relation to cultural literacy, it is also totally inadequate.
Okay, here is some of your analysis, but each section that you write should have a mini-analysis for that section. Then you can tie all of the mini-analyses together here and lead to your conclusion.
This a very simplistic conclusion. Given what you said you going to do in your proposal, your conclusion should run 1-2 pages in length.
I need a presentation for this search around 15 minutes can you also help me with that?
On this thread all, I need corrections of the feedbacks given by Instructor you may find attached file and below and I need corrected draft tomorrow! Are we in the same page?
Feedbacks and required corrections for this thread:
Feedback from Inst:
While you write very well and have done some good work so far, I hope that this is just a preliminary rough draft and that you plan to add a lot more to the final report. As it is, this paper is too brief and rudimentary to be accepted. 
There is nothing about lifelong personal growth. Nor is there anything about aviation management 
Your aviation legislation and law and cultural literacy are way too short (almost non-existent).
Your critical thought is also too brief and shallow to receive a passing grade.
This is a good start, but now go back and read your proposal again and make sure you have done what you said you were going to do. I propose that you have not.
Usually, “Method” or methodology refers to the method you will use to complete THIS research. That was where I thought you were going with the first sentence. But then you began to discuss NDI methods used on older aircraft. Your level 1 heading is too short and is misleading. In reality, it should be “Methods of Conducting Nondestructive Inspections on Older Aircraft”
This is all good information but how does it relate to your study?
Are these methods used on older 737’s (source?)
Are 737’s showing any trends in these inspections?
How often are they required? By what regs or rule?
And MOST important:
What is your analysis of the impact of this information on your research question
Again, not specific enough – Background to What? The 737? Flying Older airplanes? Your research paper? 
In reality, it is a discussion of the Aloha airlines and far Eastern Air Transport accidents. So, call it what it is
Two points to make here:
1. Long quotes are formatted differently than short quotes <40 words. Refer to the APA manual for how to format long quotes.
2. This long quote in unnecessary. There is nothing in this quote that justifies using the quote except it was easy to copy and paste it into your paper. Paraphrase this info into your words and keep the citation.
All of this information is great, but what does it mean and how does it answer your research question. There is NO critical thought where you analyze this data and tell your reader how it relates to the research question. Do not assume the reader will logically conclude how this information ties in. You must complete the analysis.
Add another paragraph telling me what all of the data means according to your analysis.
If this is all you plan to provide as far as aviation legislation and law, it is totally inadequate. It needs to be greatly expanded.
If this is all you plan to give me in relation to cultural literacy, it is also totally inadequate.
Okay, here is some of your analysis, but each section that you write should have a mini-analysis for that section. Then you can tie all of the mini-analyses together here and lead to your conclusion.
This a very simplistic conclusion. Given what you said you going to do in your proposal, your conclusion should run 1-2 pages in length. 
"Please read attached file and FEEDBACKS first in order to see all requirements before accepting the QUESTION"

BTW all the assignments will submit to the 'turn it in' to check plagiarism FYI...

I will open up another 2 questions for the presentation and the final paper!

. As I mentioned on the title page of this thread

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